Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Girlfriend's Guide To Surviving Sports Season

Ahhh......Fall, or Autumn as it is also known. Whatever tickles your fancy. Beautiful, cool breezy weather. The best holiday in my mind, Thanksgiving, is part of the Fall season. The leaves are falling from the trees making that crispy sound when you're walking down the sidewalk hand and hand with your significant other. It's actually my favorite season, nothing compares. Why you may ask? Well, it really isn't because of the weather nor the romantic walks in the park with my lady friend. Not even the deep south country Thanksgiving feast I indulge in every year courtesy of my grandmother leading the pack with my 5 aunts, 4 uncles, and numerous cousins who all chip in. Imagine the food that is on the table once we're all done and not even that is the main reason why I love this season.

It's because around this time, just about every single major sport is going on and for a sports fiend such as myself, I'm LOVING it. The World Series is underway with the San Francisco Giants and Texas Rangers, two teams no one really cares about outside of their respective cities of San Fransisco and Arlington. Nonetheless, it's the World Series and it will be viewed by millions. Not only that, the NFL and NCAA College Football are both in full swing, the NBA season has just begun as well as NHL and NCAA Basketball will be starting in a few more weeks. At LEAST six times if not all seven days of the week there will be a sporting event on television. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Hence it being called "Sports Season".

How can you not love this time of year?! Men are rejoicing right now in being able to sit at home or go to their local sports bars to eat wings, drink beer, BBQ, and talk shit about each other's teams as if we're sports analysts. Which every man thinks they are in their own mind, but I digress. This blog isn't about the men, this is about the poor girlfriends who get screwed during this time of year. The COLDEST part of the year is right around the corner in December and here's your man leaving you all alone to go hang out with his buddies and you're stuck at home watching Lifetime and eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey and he has the audacity to say "honey, you've put on a few pounds what's up with that?" as if he wasn't to blame. Shame on him...but more so shame on YOU for not knowing what to do in order to prevent this travesty from happening.

Don't fret, this is where I come in. I'm going to let you ladies in on a few tips on how to keep your man interested in you as well as him not losing out on the most wonderful time of the year. It's not too late and you still have time in order to salvage whatever left you have of your relationship and even strengthen it. Just follow these tips and not only will you survive Sports Season, you'll also last through Cuffing Season.

Tip #1: Find Out What His Favorite Sports Are/Who Are His Favorite Teams-In doing this, you figure out how his schedule works around Sports Season and you can act accordingly to it by planning things to fill in the time slots of when his favorite teams aren't playing. This also prevents him from pulling a fast one and saying something stupid like "The Florida Gators play this Sunday night so we can't hang out" when you SHOULD know that College Football is always on Saturday, with the exception of some Thursday/Friday night games but let's not delve into that. Moving on.

Tip #2: Buy Tickets To A Game/Fan Gear-This is showing support for his love of sports by buying him tickets to a game or getting him fan gear. Also make sure one of those tickets is for you to get extra points. Want even more points then get a jersey of his favorite player from his favorite team, which leads into this upcoming tip...

Tip #3: Halftime/Blowout Sex-Take advantage to get some alone time by giving your man the goods during halftime since nothing is really going on other than recaps of the actual game he JUST was watching or scores around the league...he can catch on Sportscenter later so don't be fooled. If you're lucky, maybe the game will be a blowout and he's feeling so high and mighty that his team is demolishing their opponent he'll just want to burn off that extra energy with some Home-Run-Full-Court-Shot-Game-Winning-Touchdown-Grand-Slam-Bottom-Of-The-9th sex. Don't shy away from it, spice it up. Remember that jersey I mentioned earlier? Put that on w/ a pair of your sexiest heels to really get his attention. Just don't let that scene in Scary Movie play out:

SN: Anyone know what Regina Hall is up to these days? She's actually pretty fly...but back to the matter at hand.

Tip #4: Comfort Him During A Huge Loss-THIS is huge and is not being done enough in relationships. Not every team is perfect, they will lose. Unless you're the '79 Dolphins. Bottom line, perfect records are hard to come by and if his team suffers a loss you need to be there to comfort him. Especially if they lose a lot. Console him. Let him know that it's okay and rub his belly and tell him if he was the QB he would have led them to victory. Do NOT say "oh it's just a game" because for a man, having a team lose is equivalent to losing your dog to an untimely death by being ran over by a garbage truck when we weren't paying attention while walking it...so you know the feeling and we feel the exact same way. WORSE even!

Tip #5: Host A Game Party For Him And His Friends-If you don't want him stepping out for the games being surrounded by scantly clad waitresses feeding him wings, beer and attention (something YOU should be doing) then why not do it for him in the comfort of your home? You don't have to do this every single game, just maybe one or two games out of the season. Even better, ask him to have his friends' girlfriends to come over as well so you have someone to talk to while the games are on. Maybe between the women you're able to exchange more tips and just find some new friends. It's a win/win.

Tip #6: Learn The Sport-This is key, and a whole subject on it's own that I'm also working on for another blog post in the near future. You must be careful if you're going to use this method. If you're going to learn ask him questions but also do a bit of research on your own.

And that's pretty much it! Just follow these tips ladies and you'll be able to survive Sports Season, as well as Cuffing Season. Oh yea by the way: These tips do not qualify for side chicks. You're the side chick. Just keep playing your role, this is for women in relationships only. Get it? Got it? Good. Now play ball!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Media Revolution Part 2: Taking A Stand

Blogger's Note: I wrote part 1 a couple months ago and you can read that here. This is the continuation of that blog, finally found something worth attacking this issue that I feel strongly about.

Kanye West released an approx 35 minute short film entitled "Runaway". I just finished watching and I must retract my previous statement in saying "It made no sense as a whole" and say it actually made sense, damn near perfect sense actually but I still have one problem with it as minor as it is I feel the need to point it out...to make my own point. It was so poorly constructed in order to make its point, which was one of the most overdone storylines in history: Seeing the world for what it really is and choosing to either go the path what you choose or conforming w/ opinions that others have of you. As relatable as this storyline is, 'Ye may or may not have been able to fully grasp what he wanted to convey because it came off like a jumbled random mess. But...let's say that's exactly what he was going for. If he was, then Kanye basically just sent a huge "FUCK YOU" to any and everyone who has one negative thought not about him, but about the way he goes about living HIS life and the way HE chooses to express himself through HIS art. And for that I give him a standing ovation in taking this route ESPECIALLY with the way not only the music industry is, the way entertainment is as a whole.

Right now, media entertainment is all about making a quick buck no matter how it's done. Originality and basically being yourself artistically is being frowned upon and not taken as serious as someone who is able to make a catchy tune or get a few cheap laughs by saying something totally outrageous. Soulja Boy and Lil' Duval, I'm talking to you. All popular music sounds the same, all films that have been created as of late are either remakes of movies made back in the 70s-90s or adaptations of novels and any and almost everything that is on television is in some form of reality, even CSI. That's right, most of those cases are gathered from REAL cases and are just acted out on camera as I'm sure most of you already know. Once again, not expressing any sense of real originality. And this is our main source of entertainment! I don't see why this doesn't bother anyone as much as it does me, but I digress. Reason being underneath all the mumbo jumbo trash, there are some real music artists and filmmakers out there who aren't about the quick buck and fame, they just want to entertain you the best way they know how: through themselves. This is the style that I believe we should be embracing. It's tough to try and explain to millions of people what you feel artistically, but that shouldn't stop you from doing it. Obviously, 'Ye has no issue with this whatsoever. After watching this video, I've grown an admiration for dude. I respect him on a whole higher level. Reason being is because he went against the rules. He didn't dare to be the same, nor to be purposely different, he dared to be HIMSELF. And I think it's about time someone of his clout gave the entertainment industry both middle fingers. There's more artists out there like Kanye who are doing this so don't think it's just him leading this media revolution. Because mine are up too and will stay up as long as my hands will let me.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Movies To See-October 22th

October 22nd

Paranormal Activity 2

A sequel to the original without a plot overview (trust me I've looked) but it's basically the same with a different family being haunted by a demonic presence in their new home. If you enjoyed the first one, then you most certainly will love the "sequel" or more accurately put another installment in the Paranormal Activity series.


Directed by Oscar winner Clint Eastwood, three different people are touched by death in different ways. These three roles are played by Matt Damon, Ceclie De France, and Bryce Dallas Howard with Damon playing a retired psychic who is somehow tied to everyone. Not much is being said as to what exactly, but this powerful trailer and with the film being led by Clint Eastwood is surely enough to reign in some viewers and leave them satisfied.

Company Men

A drama centered around three middle age men over the course of a year who were all laid off from their jobs as they contemplate on what to do next with their lives and struggle going from $100,000 salaries to almost a fifth of what they once earned. Supposedly, this film is to hit home with unemployed Americans during these tough economic times. I think the film will be solid, but it won't relate to as many people as it had hoped.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Movies To See-October 15th

October 15th

Jackass 3-D

The crew from MTV's famed Jackass reunites for more crazy pranks and antics but this time...IN 3-D! *rolls eyes* I'm def gonna try and see this since like most of my generation, we were fans of the show Jackass and even it's spin-off Viva La Bam. But the whole 3-D craze is just......*rubs temples*


Adapted from a true story (talk about sibling love), Hilary Swank is a single mother who puts her self through law school for almost twenty years to overturn her brother's (Sam Rockwell) unfair murder conviction. I'm almost certain this movie is going to nab Hilary Swank a "Best Actress Nomination" @ the Golden Globes if anything. I can't wait to see this movie, it sounds like an amazing story. And to think, once upon a time she was supposed to be "The Next Karate Kid." *shudders*


A former black-ops agent played by Bruce Willis is hunted by a highly skilled and dangerous assassin. In order to stay alive, he enlists the help of his old black-ops team to get to the assassin before they get to him. Based off a comic book adaptation. Comes off like The Expendables just with a more decorated cast of actors who actually act with Morgan Freeman and Helen Mirren playing along side Willis.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Movies To See-October 8th

Life As We Know It

Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel play two single adults that dated, well had only ONE disastrous date together in the past that was set up by mutual friends. Unfortunately, the two friends end up passing away and left their baby girl in the care of their godparents to raise them in case something were to actually happen to them. Guess who those lucky godparents are? I dig the concept, even though the movie's plot and ending seem obvious, it's about how they got there. Let's hope that Heigl and Duhamel can deliver and make it believable that they can make it not only as a couple, but as a family.

It's Kind Of A Funny Story

A clinically depressed teen played by Keir Gilchrist is admitted into a psychiatric hospital and is befriended by two patients Zack Galifianakis and Emma Roberts. This is a movie that I know I'm going to be seeing personally and I think a lot of young depressed teens and adults should also see. Despite the content, it comes off like a feel good movie so you shouldn't be too depressed while watching it and enjoy a few laughs. It's a daring idea to try and capture on film, let alone write, so I'm intrigued on how this is going to play out. Especially with Galfianakis playing in his most not-so-serious-but-serious role yet.

My Soul To Take

Wes Craven returns to his directing chair to bring us My Soul To Take which is about a serial killer who terrorized a town and was thought to be given the "Death Row Treatment" to come back and kill again...allegedly reincarnated as one of the seven children in the town. The only reason why I put this in here is because it's Wes Craven. As some of you know, I really don't care much for horror flicks but I am a Wes Craven fan, go figure. So I'm hoping his return will make this movie interesting. My only gripe? It's in 3-D. -_______-

Honorable Mention:


Edward Norton plays Stone who is a convicted arsonist looking to get out early on parole but is held up by parole officer played by Robert DeNiro. He then turns to his wife, Milla Jovovich, to seduce the P.O. as a way to get his early parole. Watching the trailer, it puts me in the mind of U-Turn starring Jennifer Lopez for some reason. The trio of DeNiro, Norton, and Jovovich could be just enough to gain some viewers and be a sleeper despite how mundane the plot. Plus Norton has cornrows. Yes, you read and I'm sure saw that already. Just wanted to point that out again.

I Spit On Your Grave

A female writer retreats to her cabin to get some peace and quiet is brutally interrupted by a group of men who attack her and leave her for dead. Too bad for the men because she actually lives and seeks out these same group of men to exact her revenge upon them for their attack. This movie is actually a remake which was then titled "Day Of The Woman" but received a limited release due to is gruesome content. Word on the street is this latest version is a bit more tame but still gruesome enough to also only have a limited release. I think I'll be personally checking this one through Netflix as well as the original to see what was all the fuss about.