Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Krispy Kreme vs Dunkin Donuts

I honestly have no idea where this theory came from exactly or why it really makes sense. All I know is that every woman I've dated or been remotely interested in, I asked the question "Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts?" Whenever a woman said "Dunkin Donuts" it pretty much went down hill from there. Not immediately but I knew it was coming. At the time I didn't understand why this happened nor did I even recognize this ridiculous pattern. Once it came to light it all made sense to me. Women that chose Dunkin Donuts were simply different from women that chose Krispy Kreme, and there's only been one that chose Krispy Kreme and she was my first and only love. I know that sounds silly but its true. When I sat and went back through the women that chose Dunkin Donuts, I knew off hand it was a situation I shouldn't get myself into but I just couldn't help myself but be attracted to them and wanting to see them. I was doing things I normally wouldn't do and found myself in awkward situations then eventually we parted ways. Sometimes me running away from items being thrown. Ok that was only once. Just recently I finally figured out why these scenarios happened. What I'm about to do its quite possibly the most harebrained explanation ever done. I'm the King of Bullshit but you'll be surprised at how much sense this makes. Just bare with me, that is if you're still reading, and I'm going to explain in my own twisted way the difference between Krispy Kreme and Dunkin Donuts...if they were women. And you tell me if I'm crazy:

‎​Dunkin Donuts is that girl next door you can't help but fall for. Entertaining w/ more than just donuts to serve so you never get bored and there's always something to keep you coming back. She's always there late in the night and even has a drive-thru service for a quickie, ready and willing to please. The building is always bright and eye-catching but sometimes its not so the same on the inside. You wonder what they are: a donut shop, coffee shop, or a slushie stand? The variety is cool in the beginning but with all the different items on the menu you tend to feel a disservice in other areas and sometimes cheated. When you're ready for some stability it may not come from a DD, but at least you had fun...right? Its not her fault, she just has a dynamic personality that many aren't able to step up to. Or maybe she just got bored with you. Or maybe she is as bit as crazy and superficial as you believed. Hard pill to swallow, but we live and learn.

‎​Krispy Kreme has the old school/vintage diner thing going on which gives a classy look and feel. Good old school customer service meaning they're always reliable and trusting. Their donuts are always fresh keeping you sucked in for more, and you can tell by actual signals (the red light) instead of guessing which ones aren't stale from earlier. KK's are up front and what you see is what you get with them. Plus, you can't really find too many KK's around these days which makes it more desirable and unique. Its just...well, once you get inside and really take a look around what else is there? Not too much pizazz lighting the joint up there just that dull green all over the place. There's a variety of donuts sure, but what else does a Krispy Kreme really offer? The comfort and stability is what keeps it going, unless you want to venture out elsewhere and have a taste for something new and bold. Not saying Krispy Kreme is a boring place, I'm just saying it could use a bit more spunk. It is a dying franchise, so maybe a few upgrades could do it some good.

Now, I don't think you can simply sum every woman up in these two categories. But I can't ignore my personal experiences that when a woman has chosen Dunkin Donuts they fit the description I just gave and it just so happens to be like a Dunkin Donuts location. Same with my single Krispy Kreme experience. I've even had one friend of mine, a woman, read these descriptions and she admitted that she was a Dunkin Donut kinda girl. She even went as far as asking three other women and said they fit the mold too. I'm not trying to say this theory should hold water, but it seems to spread out more than just from my personal experiences. Even though my most successful relationship was with a Krispy Kreme girl (4.5 years strong), 9 times out of 10 I'd still choose a Dunkin Donuts girl. I think I finally got it figured out myself. I mean, I don't even like either place because I don't have a sweet tooth but if I wanted a donut I'd go to Krispy Kreme. If I wanted a lil something else, Dunkin Donuts would be my choice. So it just boils down to me wanting a Starbucks woman. But...that explanation is for another time.

Try it out for yourself for fun. Men, think back on all of your dating experiences and current: which kind of women do you prefer, a Dunkin Donut or a Krispy Kreme? Same with women, see where you fit in as well as your female counterparts.

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